Indonesia, where to even start! There’s a lot I could say about this place and the last two weeks. I’d love to write a nice little blog and tell you all about the things we’ve been doing but I think the Lord has different plans for this blog. I want to be completely honest on what the last couple weeks have looked like and how incredibly hard it’s actually been here.
Don’t get me wrong I do love this country and the people here but the last two weeks have been a hard fought battle for me and for the teams with me. There’s such a spiritual stronghold over this country and over the city we’re in. I walked into this country tired in every way possible physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. We’ve been on the field for 7 months and it’s been absolutely amazing but I can’t lie, I’m tired and ready to be home.
I know that the Lord has so so much planned for these next two months and for this country. I know that He called me to be gone for nine months which means He will equip me for the full nine months, but it’s one thing to know it and another to believe and walk in that. There’s such a heavy stronghold of tiredness and sleepiness over this place. I’ve seen this in the people here, I’ve seen it in my team, and more than that I’ve seen it in myself. The second that we got here it was like we were all covered in this heavy and consuming tiredness that honestly never really went away. We made up excuses for it, came up with reasons we were tired but honestly it was like we gave up. Without even realizing it I had let myself agree with the tiredness, accepting it like there was no other option. Honestly I let the tiredness and my desire to go home completely consume me almost to the point of bitterness. I told myself that home would be better, if I just pushed through the next two months to make it home I could rest and be happy. Now this probably sounds pretty rough and bad and honestly it was, but my God is too good to leave me there!
Songs have always gotten me and like so many times in the past the Lord used a song to bring me back to His simple truths. “You will never leave. Your love sustaining me, Before I even knew, What love was, You’ve brought me here to rest, And given me space to breathe. So I’ll stay still until, It sinks in” Lean Back by The Worship Initiative. Yes, I was exhausted but more than physically exhausted I was spiritually exhausted and the only place to find rest and comfort for that is in the Lord so I sought Him with all I had. The enemy didn’t make that easy and He used my physical exhaustion to try and get in the way of me spending time with the Lord but God is far bigger than that.
“I will lean back in the loving arms
Of a beautiful Father
Breathe deep and know that He is good
He’s a love like no other”
God has been so good to let me just sit and rest in Him, to lean into His presence. He revealed the places I had accepted and agreed with the tiredness and given me a strength to fight it. He revealed the places I was dwelling in darkness and reminded me to focus on the light, to focus of gratitude and thankfulness. He reminded me that even though it’s okay for me to want to go home I can’t let that desire control me but rather have to lay it on the altar and worship Him above and through it. I know this blog hasn’t been super happy or the most positive but I wanted to shine light on the reality of the last few weeks and give God the glory through it. I could easily still be in the same place I was but God has brought freedom and rest and I will hold to that truth and declare it boldly.
God has brought so much freedom and revealed a lot of truth to me but there are still strongholds of tiredness and sleepiness in this place. The thing about following Jesus is that it’s a daily decision to pick up your cross and follow Him. Indonesia is teaching me that in a harder and more tangible way than I’ve ever had to before. Every day is still a choice to die to my flesh and the tiredness looking at God instead or to give into it. I want to end by just asking for your prayers. It’s a daily battle fighting tiredness and exhaustion but God has already won! I ask for your prayers over me and my team, for strength to continue to end this season and race well! For prayers against the tiredness and the strongholds of the enemy.
Thank you for taking the time to read this and for the prayers and support! Leave a comment or reach out if there’s any ways I can be praying for you!
Love,
Emilee
Because of the work we’re doing here I’m not allowed to share lots of pictures or details but I wanted to add a couple just to give a little idea of life here!
❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥